Dating advice lds singles
Single and married members of the Church see the challenges facing singles in a very different way.
Once they pass on someone great it’s hard to accept something that isn’t better than someone you previously dated. Once you’ve married someone who was strong in the church and a great, upstanding person and seen them do a complete 180 (leave the church and change their values, etc) it’s scary to know if the next will do the same. There are some that just haven’t found their niche yet, but from a young age Mormons are coached to get married, so those who are smart adapt and do it.As a result, the women become more and more accomplished and therefore more and more intimidating and ultimately not the sweet, young thing the 20 year old had in mind as the “perfect” lds girl Hard to pinpoint just one, but I guess I’d say the biggest challenge is finding someone whose goals, interests, life experience, and maturity match one’s own – and who simultaneously feels the same way – especially given the unprecedented level of freedom and opportunity enjoyed in our society (for better or for worse, freedom and opportunity make singleness less onerous and also has a tendency to promote individual diversity at the expense of this “sameness” which I think is so critical).It’s easy for those who do not marry young to keep looking for what they think is the “perfect spouse”.Within the culture, however, women with career ambitions are less attractive. Currently it seems finances and not being able to be on their own or know how to be on their own is an issue.Our maturity is stunted because we don’t have open conversations about sex and relationships. I also think maybe not knowing how to break the single’s scene cycle might factor in, ie group dates, big activities, etc., to actually date and get to know someone.It is also hard fitting in at church because people don’t know how to relate to you if you’re single.
They can never understand it unless they’ve been in your shoes.
As a 29 year old divorced woman I don’t connect with the men in church because they are awkward, dorky and juvenile.
I connect more with men who are not members because they are confident and like to do adult things.
As for myself personally, I have an aging parent who has refused to cut the umbilical cord and let me go.
I often feel trapped since I have no siblings to help.
There should be more communication about activities and the activities should either be kid friendly or have a place for the kids to be during the activity.